Extroverted Introvert
I’m what you might call an extroverted introvert. I like people. I do well in front of crowds or speaking in public. I like going to dinner parties and events. However, when I’m done, I’m done. I need to recharge and be away from people.
I suppose most people fall into this extroverted introvert category. My husband and I both do, which works well for us. My oldest child is an extrovert in every sense of the word. He thrives on being around people. He loves to be involved and have people to talk to. My youngest child is the complete opposite. He would rather die than have to be in front of a crowd or have any kind of attention drawn to him. He is easily drained in social situations and dreads leaving the house, honestly. My middle child is like me. She enjoys time with people and is quite social. But she needs time to withdraw and be alone. As a family, you learn pretty quickly when someone needs their space or when someone needs to be busy. It’s learning how and when to balance those things that are important.
I am one of 11 children. I am the third in that line-up, the oldest girl. I think that plays into my extroverted-introverted personality. I learned pretty quickly when to step in and step up, but also when I needed time to recharge and withdraw from the crowd. I learned at a young age how to lead and get things done that needed to be done. To this day, I would call myself a “do’er”. Growing up, I didn’t have the luxury of waiting around or being shy. If I wanted something, I had to speak up and stand up for myself. On the other hand, I often got overwhelmed and needed space. Space was hard to find in a family that size!
The older I get, the more I value time alone. The introverted side seems to peek out a little more. For example, I look forward to my time every morning out on the trail. I am either running or hiking and I prefer to go alone. I have a few friends that want to exercise together often, but I find once a week to be plenty. It’s not that I don’t like my friends- I do. But I cherish that alone time! I need it! Even my husband will tell me to go at my own pace so I don’t wait for him. He knows I need time to think, recharge, and find stillness. I am the most productive right after my run and feel recharged. I use that alone time to sort through difficult things on my mind, perhaps even cry it out if necessary, and make plans to work through it.
Nature is healing and restorative for me. Having someone by my side talking can take away from the stillness my soul craves. I think it’s important for everyone to have time alone. At least to be comfortable being alone. Not everyone is. On the other hand, humans need people. We need human interaction. If COVID taught us anything, it is the importance of being with people. No one should be alone too often. That’s not any healthier than being constantly surrounded by people. It really is all about finding the right balance for YOU.